[Mystic Falls’ Square]
(Elena rejoins Matt)
Elena: Guess who!
Matt: Hmm. I wonder. Elena Gilbert?
Elena: Yep
Matt: You're in a good mood
Elena: Well, it's a good day. We're alive
Matt: Yes, we are, and we are partying tonight
Elena: Yes, we are
Matt: So what did you want to talk to me about?
Elena: Are you still drinking Vervain?
Matt: No. I wear this bracelet in case anyone needs my blood, remember?
Elena: This is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you
Matt: What are you doing? I need that
Elena: Long story short-- I'm Katherine, not Elena
Matt: Katherine's dead
Elena/Katherine: Not exactly. While you guys were all playing drinking games, toasting to what a horrible person I am, I was plotting a way to passenger myself into Elena's cute, little head
Matt: Oh, my God
Elena/Katherine: Anyway, I need a crash course on all things Elena Gilbert. She's in college now, all grown up, and I figured who knows her better than her compellable best friend? So what do you think? How's my dress? It screams safe and predictable. Am I right, or am I right?
Matt: I'm not doing this
(Nadia rejoins them)
Nadia: Just compel him already
Elena/Katherine: Take the fun right out of it, why don't you? Play along with my secret, Matty pants. Would Elena wear this outfit to a party?
Matt: No to the dress, yes to the shoes
Elena/Katherine: Now let's talk honestly about the red thing that's happening in my hair
Matt: So you're dead and, what, hitching a ride in her brain?
Elena/Katherine: For now until I make it permanent
Matt: Permanent? How?
Elena/Katherine: Hello! The hair. Why did she dye it?
Matt: I don't know. She did it in New York right after she shut her humanity off
Elena/Katherine: But her humanity's back now. Perfect. It's gone. Ok. What's Jeremy's birthday?
Matt: October 13
Elena/Katherine: When's Elena's birthday?
Matt: June 22
Elena/Katherine: What's my address?
Matt: 2104 maple street, but you burnt your house down
Elena/Katherine: I know, that was a trick question. Good job! Who do I like better… Bonnie or Caroline? Please say Caroline
Matt: You love them both equally
Elena/Katherine: Well, that's a shocker. Ok. I just have one last question. It's very important because I'm going to need it later. How exactly did Elena Gilbert break up with you?
Earlier that day
[A Hotel Room]
Nadia: Mia said she needs your corpse
Katherine/Elena: My corpse? Could travelers be any creepier?
Nadia: Be nice. Without Mia, you wouldn't be alive or inside Elena's body right now
Katherine/Elena: I know. I'd be dead in my corpse, a corpse that some traveler says that they need. You see how that's creepy?
Nadia: Do you want to be in control of Elena's body or not?
Katherine/Elena: Look. I get it, ok? We have no idea when Elena's consciousness is gonna pop out. Now you want to tell me what you're doing over there?
Nadia: Get on the bed. Just in case Elena decides to show up while I'm out getting your body
Katherine/Elena: So I'm just gonna be stuck in a hotel room, bound to a bed while Damon Salvatore's leaving me voicemails? Remind me again how this is better than being dead
Nadia: Because once Mia does her spell, Elena will be gone forever, and this body will be yours for good
[Salvatore’s House]
(Damon enters. Stefan’s here)
Stefan: Where you been?
Damon: Just out
Stefan: Define out
Damon: One who hovers and sticks his nose in other people's business. Oh. I'm sorry. I was defining annoying
Stefan: That's funny
Damon: Katherine's rotting corpse was stinking up the house. I got rid of it
Stefan: Could be a bit of a problem
Damon: Oh? And why is that?
(Nadia’s here)
Nadia: Because I'm here for Katherine's body
Damon: You're out of luck. You ain't getting it
Nadia: My mother asked to be buried with her family in Bulgaria
Damon: And nothing gives me greater joy than to deny her dying wish
Stefan: Damon, who cares? Katherine's dead. Just give her the damn body
Damon: Bitch ruined our lives. Nadia's known her, what, 5 minutes?
Nadia: Tell me where she is
Damon: The nicest thing that Katherine Pierce will ever do is feeding the maggots that feast on her flesh. Give it up. You're not getting her back
[Lockwood’s Mansion]
(Matt rejoins Tyler)
Matt: Have you seen my phone? Ty! Have you seen my phone? I'm late for work, dude
Tyler: Look at you, captain responsible. Here. Join me for breakfast
Matt: No. You know, I'm good, seeing it's, uh, 7:42
Tyler: Aye, aye, Captain
Matt: Ok. So you gonna tell me what happened in New Orleans?
Tyler: Well, there were witches, gumbo, a few originals. Look. It doesn't matter because it's over, in the past. No more drama. I'm starting fresh
Matt: Ok, then. We're celebrating. I'm throwing you a welcome back party
Tyler: Wait. What? No
Matt: Yeah. So clean this place up and invite some people and, uh, shower because you stink
[Whitmore College]
(Caroline is cleaning the dorm room when Aaron enters)
Caroline: It's open!
Aaron: Are you cleaning the fireplace?
Caroline: Yeah. Well, you know, all those carcinogens. Heh. I'm stress cleaning. I'm stressed, so I'm cleaning. Boy drama. Not that you care
Aaron: I'm here for Elena, but clearly she's not here. I'll… I'll come back later
Caroline: Well, I can give her a message
Aaron: Uh, yeah, can you just tell her that Wes isn't gonna be a problem anymore? I mean, my family's trust came through, and I was able to cut off Augustine's funding
Caroline: So no more vampire experiments?
Aaron: Yeah, that's over. And can you just tell her that I'm sorry, I'm really sorry for everything?
Caroline: I will
(Aaron goes back in his room. Enzo enters)
Enzo: Aaron Whitmore. Just the man I've been looking for
Aaron: Enzo
[Salvatore’s House]
(Stefan is in the basement. On the phone)
Stefan: Hey. I need a favor. You know how Damon was trying to be all noble and broke up with Elena?
Caroline: Of course. There was champagne
Stefan: Yeah. Well, I kind of convinced him he was an idiot
Caroline: You what?!
Stefan: And now he's in a bit of a mood, and something tells me that he's been trying to get ahold of Elena, but she hasn't been returning his phone calls
Caroline: Look. I would love to help if I thought he was actually good for her, but I don't
Stefan: Caroline, how would you liked to be judged solely based on who you're attracted to? Come on
Caroline: Why? Do you know something?
Stefan: Why? Should I know something?
Caroline: I just mean are you sure that this is what you really want, you know, Elena and Damon or Damon and Elena, or… I know that there's a nickname in there somewhere
Stefan: Listen. I actually think that Elena is good for Damon. She makes him happy, and we all know that when Damon is happy...
Caroline: He's not out there killing people, which I guess is a plus for mankind
Stefan: Exactly
Caroline: But even if I wanted to help, she's not here. I thought that she was with you
Stefan: She told me she was staying at Whitmore
Caroline: Ok. That's weird. Well, where the hell is she?
[A Motel Room]
(The phone rings)
Katherine/Elena: Does that thing ever shut up?
(Elena’s consciousness comes forth)
Elena: Where am I? What's going on? Oh, my God. Katherine
Nadia: Hello, Elena
Elena: You! You put Katherine inside of me instead of you
(Nadia summons Katherine)
Elena/Katherine: What happened?
Nadia: Elena Gilbert happened
Elena/Katherine: Wonderful. She's fighting. It's only a matter of time before she comes out again. Did you get my body?
[Mystic Grill]
(Damon and Stefan are playing pool)
Damon: Oh, come on. Katherine is exactly where she's always belonged. I'm not giving the body back. Quit giving me that damn pouty face
Stefan: I'm not giving you the pouty face. This is my "you're being a dick" face. Elena hasn't called you back. It's making you completely miserable
Damon: Yeah. I'm completely miserable. It's your fault, telling me to get her back
Stefan: No. You're miserable because you did what you always do. You had a problem, and instead of dealing with it, you cut ties and you ran
Damon: You're enjoying this a little too much
(Caroline rejoins them)
Caroline: Ok. So Bonnie took Jeremy to go visit her mom, and neither of them have talked to Elena
Damon: Who invited you? Scram
Stefan: I invited her. Caroline agreed to help you get Elena back
Damon: You? You hate me. You once told me that calling me Satan was an insult to Satan
Caroline: Well...Nobody's perfect
Damon: This is what it's come to? You brought me love advice from prudy Trudy
Caroline: I can be unpredictable and incredibly reckless
Damon: What's going on here? Are you guys baby-sitting me?
Stefan: We're just hanging out, chatting
Damon: I don't need this, and I don't need your help
Stefan: Well, I guess you better try Elena again
[A Motel Room]
Katherine: Ugh. Seriously, I have never met a group of needier people. It's not bad enough that Damon's trying to win me back. I'm also getting "where are you?" "I'm worried about you." "Call me." "Are you going to Tyler's party?" It's a wonder that this thing still has a battery
Nadia: They're getting suspicious
Katherine: Yeah
Nadia: We need to find your body
Katherine: Stefan texted and asked if I was going to Tyler's party. Maybe I do go, convince everyone that Elena is alive and well, and I casually ask him where Damon buried me
Nadia: No. No way. You said it yourself. It's just a matter of time until Elena shows up again
Katherine: So then come with me. Shove her back in if that happens
Nadia: This is not the right place for you to be, around all her friends
Katherine: I've impersonated Elena a million times. I can mimic everything about her
Nadia: This is different. You're not impersonating Elena. You are Elena. When is her birthday? What grade did her and Caroline meet? Where did she kiss Stefan for the first time?
Katherine: I'm gonna have to brush up on a few fun facts, and I know exactly who can help us
[Lockwood’s Mansion]
(Matt and Tyler are outside)
Tyler: You know, you still own my house
Matt: Yeah, legally. It's not like I pay the bills
Tyler: Yeah, but it means you'll have to invite certain people in tonight, people like Elena, Stefan…
Matt: Is that your lame way of asking if invited Caroline?
Tyler: Pretty much
Matt: Yeah, she's coming. So when you say you're starting over, you're basically saying you want Caroline back
Tyler: Just get the cups, ok?
(He takes a keg and enters the house. Matt’s phone rings. He answers)
Matt: Elena, hey
Katherine/Elena: Hi, Matty!
Matt: Matty?
Katherine/Elena: Matt. I mean, Matt, I was, um, hoping that you could help me with something
[Mystic Falls’ Square]
(Katherine/Elena rejoins Matt)
Katherine/Elena: Guess who!
Matt: Hmm. I wonder
[Salvatore’s House]
(Damon enters and finds Enzo in his living room)
Damon: Enzo
Enzo: Hello, Damon. Ahh. We have a bit of business to attend to
Damon: Missed a spot
Enzo: Ooh! Oh. I love a good fire. Oh! That's ironic, isn't it, you know, since you left me to burn alive in one?
Damon: Didn't we already do this? You tried to make me feel guilty, I saved your life, we're even. What's in the bag?
Enzo: More like who. Ah. Since you and I last spoke, I've done a bit of soul-searching, had a trip to the barber, and did a little research, which revealed to me that you killed almost every member of the Whitmore family in the years since your escape, leaving just one alive each time to carry on the family name, producing a whole new generation of victims for you to slaughter exactly as you said you'd do back when you and I were cellmates
Damon: Well, you know me .I like to keep my promises
Enzo: And it's occurred to me that perhaps I wrote you off too quickly, that, in fact, the Damon Salvatore I remember is alive and well, and I have a present for him
Damon: You brought me Aaron Whitmore... Alive
Enzo: He's the last of the Whitmore clan. You remember this Vervain wristwatch? Dr. Whitmore never took it off, even when he was rooting around in our chest cavities. Fitting Aaron should die wearing it, too. So...Do you want to kill him, or shall I?
[Lockwood’s Mansion]
(The party is in full force. Katherine/Elena arrives but she can’t enter)
Katherine/Elena: Matt! Eh!
Matt: Elena, hey. Come in
Katherine/Elena: Thank you. Well, that wasn't awkward at all
Matt: Right. Sorry about that
Katherine/Elena: It's ok. Go find some blond to hit on
Matt: All right. I'm gonna go make the rounds. You need anything?
Katherine/Elena: I'm good, thanks
(She sees Stefan)
(She rejoins Stefan)
Stefan: Elena, you're alive
Katherine/Elena: Of course I'm alive. Wow! Stefan Salvatore is drinking beer out of a cup. Do you want me to show you where Tyler keeps the bourbon?
Stefan: No. I'm trying to stay off the hard stuff. Hey. So... Where have you been? Caroline was about to send out a search party for you
Katherine/Elena: Around, thinking, processing, trying to figure out how to deal with this whole Damon thing
Stefan: Hmm. You know he made a mistake, right? He wants you back
Katherine/Elena: Yeah, I know. Hang on. Isn't this a little weird for you?
Stefan: It's incredibly weird, but, uh, I know my brother, and I know he's a better person with you than without you
Katherine/Elena: So how are you? How are you dealing with the whole Katherine dying thing?
Stefan: I’m ok
Katherine/Elena: Stefan, you don't have to hide your feelings
Stefan: No. Honestly, I'm ok. You know, we had a thing, it ended, and she died, and I'm fine
Katherine/Elena: You knew her for, like, 150 years. You're not even a little heartbroken? I mean, even I feel a little bad. You know, maybe we should give her, like, a funeral or something
Stefan: A funeral?
Katherine/Elena: Where's she buried? I should at least drop off flowers or something
Stefan: I have no idea. Damon said he put her where she was always meant to be
Katherine/Elena: Classic Damon
[Salvatore’s House]
Enzo: As much as I've enjoyed your quality bourbon, I feel confident our next drink will taste better with the sound of young Aaron's dying screams ringing in our ears and the knowledge that your final act of revenge will have brought us both closure and a new beginning
Damon: I'm just curious. Do you ask all of your friends to prove their loyalty by killing someone over drinks?
Enzo: His grandfather slit our eyes open with a scalpel. You've taken out everyone else in the Whitmore family. I thought you'd want this
Damon: Would you believe he's a friend of a friend?
Enzo: No, because that would force me to believe that you've gone soft when you and I both know that your very first impulse when I presented him to you was to rip out his throat. Surely my old friend's still in there someplace. End this for both of us
(Damon’s phone rings. He answers)
Damon: Really bad timing, blondie. I'm dealing with a blast from the past
Caroline: Then deal with it quickly and get your ass over to Tyler's. Elena's here
(He hangs up)
Enzo: Looks like he's coming round. It's time to make a decision, Damon. Do you want to kill him, or shall I?
Damon: I hate deadlines
Aaron: Well, I didn't see that one coming
Damon: I can't kill you. Long story
Aaron: Because Elena would hate you for it. That's why you can't kill me
Damon: Go back to college and pack up your entire life. There's one highway that heads out of town. Take it north till you hit ice. Don't ever come back
[Lockwood’s Mansion]
(Katherine/Elena is outside and Nadia rejoins her)
Nadia: How domestic of you
Katherine/Elena: Apparently Elena would do this sort of stuff. I'm actually starting to feel sorry for her
Nadia: Did you find out where your body is or not?
Katherine/Elena: Stefan said Damon put me somewhere I was always meant to be
Nadia: A riddle
Katherine/Elena: For 145 years, Damon thought I was in a tomb underneath the old church, and, boy, was he $ disappointed when I wasn't there
Nadia: Well, let's hope you are this time
Katherine/Elena: Right
Nadia: Now say your good-byes. We can't have anyone following us
(Katherine/Elena is inside. Caroline rejoins her)
Caroline: There you are! I've been calling and texting
Katherine/Elena: Sorry. My phone died. Um, what did you want to talk about?
Caroline: I did a bad thing
Katherine/Elena: I'm sure it wasn't that bad
Caroline: You don't even know what it is. Elena, stop. This is really important
Katherine/Elena: Ok. I'm sorry. Tell me. What happened?
Caroline: What would you say if I told you that when a certain awful person was in town I ran into him in the woods and sort of kissed him? He was there, and he obviously wanted to kiss me, so I thought, "oh! We'll just make out," but then it felt really good to kiss him, so then I kind of totally had sex with him, but I swear I didn't plan to do it, and now I feel terrible
Katherine/Elena: And the person we're talking about is...
Caroline: Klaus
Katherine/Elena: Oh, wow! That… that… wow! Really?
Caroline: Would I make something like this up? And that is why I need you to tell me what an awful person I am
Katherine/Elena: Actually, you're one of the least awful people I know. So tell me. How was it, you know, compared to Tyler?
Caroline: Elena Gilbert!
Katherine/Elena: Caroline Forbes! Come on. Spill the beans
Caroline: I am...
Katherine/Elena: Now that you've slept with Klaus, I mean, how was it?
Caroline: I am so not answering that
Katherine/Elena: Oh, you so are.Oh, my God
[The Tomb]
(Katherine/Elena and Nadia rejoin Mia)
Mia: Took you long enough
Katherine/Elena: I was pretending to care. It was very time-consuming
Nadia: Let's get it over with
Mia: In order to seal Katherine's spirit inside Elena's body, I'll need some of your blood. Then…
Katherine/Elena: You mutilate my body. Lovely
Mia: Travelers don't have access to traditional magic, so we improvise. Now shut up. I have to concentrate
(Elena reappears)
Elena: So, um, what's happening now?
Mia: Katherine, if you want to say good-bye to Elena forever, I need silence
Nadia: Are you ok?
Elena: Save your daughterly concern. I'm fine
[Lockwood’s Mansion]
(Caroline rejoins Tyler)
Tyler: Get out
Caroline: Just let me explain
Tyler: No. Let me. Klaus killed thousands of people… Elena's aunt, an entire pack of hybrids, my friends. Caroline... He killed my mom!
Caroline: I know, I know. I am so sorry
Tyler: Just stop. I walked out last time. Now it's your turn. Go
Caroline: No
Tyler: Don't take another step, Caroline
Caroline: If you would just…
Tyler: I said leave!
(Stefan intervenes)
Stefan: You're drunk
Tyler: Get your hands off me
Stefan: What's the matter with you?
Tyler: Oh, you don't know? She screwed Klaus. Exactly
Stefan: You know, drunk or not, she doesn't deserve that
[The Tomb]
Nadia: You never told me where you wanted to go
Elena: Where I wanted to go?
Nadia: Once we complete the spell. Where should we start our world tour?
Mia: Let me finish. Just a few more seconds, and then I'm done
Nadia: Elena
Elena: What was that? I couldn't quite hear you
[Lockwood’s Mansion]
(Damon arrives but can’t enter)
Damon: Donovan, you in here?
[The Crypt]
Nadia: Mia. Mia
Mia: Are you ok?
Nadia: Just finish the spell
[The Woods]
(Elena tries to use her cellphone)
Elena: What? No. No, no, no. You've got to be kidding me. No, no, no. Katherine, get out of my head! No! No! Aah! Aah!
[Lockwood’s Mansion]
(Elena comes out of the woods and sees Damon. She rushes towards him)
Elena: Damon! Damon, thank God
Damon: What's wrong?
[The Tomb]
Mia: It's done
[Lockwood’s Mansion]
Damon: Elena? Hey. Say something, please
Katherine/Elena: I've been looking everywhere for you. We need to talk
Damon: Yeah, I want to talk, too. The message thingies on your phone, that's all me in case you deleted them and didn't listen to them
Katherine/Elena: I listened to every word
Damon: Then you know how bad I screwed up. I wussed out, Elena. I bailed because I was convinced I'd ruin you
Katherine/Elena: That's not what this is about, Damon
Damon: No. I know. Just hear me out, just hear me out. You are literally the best person I've ever known, and for me to think that I could change you gives me way too much credit and you not nearly enough. You are the best influence on me. I need you. You are the good, and I need a little good in my life... Because without it, there's an awful lot of darkness
Katherine/Elena: That's a lot of pressure, Damon
Damon: I know, Elena
Katherine/Elena: No. No. It's my turn now. I love that I make you a better person, I love that I make you happy, but I don't want to be the only thing that you live for. I don't want to worry about what's gonna happen every time we get into a fight or if we break up again or who you're gonna take it out on
Damon: What… what are you talking about?
Katherine/Elena: I know what you did to Katherine, Damon. She was weak and dying, and you still tortured her
Damon: How is this about Katherine?
Katherine/Elena: It's not, ok? It's about you. It's about you, about the person that I can't change and the person that you really are. That person was right to let me go. I'm sorry, Damon, but it's over. We're over
(She leaves)
Stefan: Damon
Damon: Come on. Deep down, you got to be enjoying this a little bit
(The party is over and everyone is leaving. Matt rejoins Tyler)
Matt: Hey
Tyler: You know what I realized tonight? This is a big-ass house. I live in a fricking mansion. My parents are dead, the girl I love slept with my nemesis, and I have absolutely no idea what I'm gonna do with the rest of my life, which… get this… lasts forever... But I got a big-ass house
Matt: Why don't we get out of it for a while, you know, just go somewhere, be anywhere but here?
Tyler: Klaus put me through hell in New Orleans, Matt. He crushed me, and just when I thought it was over, that he couldn't destroy anything else or do anything worse...
[The Tomb]
Nadia: So that's it? It worked?
Mia: Try not to sound so impressed, but, yes, Katherine Pierce has permanent control of Elena Gilbert's body. Now about that payment we discussed
(Katherine intervenes and kills her)
Nadia: Ugh. Was that necessary?
Katherine: No, but she was a loose end, and I hate that
Nadia: She gave me the creeps anyway
Katherine: Cold, manipulative, good hair. You really are my daughter
Nadia: If that's your way of thanking me, save it for the road
Katherine: I'm not going anywhere. For the first time in the last 500 years, I'm in the clear. There's no one coming after me. Hell, half the people in this town would probably slit their own throats to protect Elena Gilbert
Nadia: And what about me?
Katherine: You're a grown woman. You can make your own decisions, but if you want my vote... Stay. Now I'm not saying that I'll ever learn how to be a good mother, but I'll try. I've got all the time in the world to get it right
Nadia: I've searched for you for centuries. I'm not leaving now, but we both know you want more than just mother-daughter bonding time
Katherine: You're right. I want it all. I want my daughter, I want immortality, and I want Stefan Salvatore. He's my one true love
Nadia: Well… I'd hate to be the person standing in your way
[Salvatore’s House]
(Caroline is in the living room. Stefan enters)
Stefan: There you are. I've been looking all over for you
Caroline: Yeah. Well, I couldn't find a rock big enough to crawl under, so... You're my friend. I need you to just give it to me straight. Am I a horrible person?
Stefan: So that's why you came here, huh? All right. Let me ask you something. When you found out about me and Katherine, what was your first thought?
Caroline: Honestly, I thought, "eww”
Stefan: See? And if you held that against me, you wouldn't be sitting here right now with me, would you?
Caroline: Or maybe I came here because I know that you see the best in people
Stefan: Ah. All right. Somebody has to say it, so here goes. You ready? Caroline... You are a horrible person, ok? You are… you are thoughtless, you're shallow, you're completely undependable…
Caroline: Ha ha ha! Hey! Hey. I am--I am vulnerable. Don't be mean
Stefan: You know what? Now that I think about it, I have no idea what Klaus saw in you. What was he thinking?
Caroline: Ha ha ha! Shut up!
[Middle of Nowhere]
(A car arrives. A man is lying on the middle of the road. Aaron gets out of the car. The man is none other than Enzo)
Aaron: Hey. You all right? You all right, man?
Enzo: Never better. We've been waiting for you. Damon's teaching me a little game. See, he assured me you'd be on this road heading out of town
Aaron: You said that you were gonna let me go
Damon: I did. I tried
Aaron: Does Elena know that you're here?
Damon: She's the reason I'm here. No. Scratch that. I'm the reason I'm here
Aaron: What do you want, Damon?
Damon: I want the same thing you want, Aaron… go back in time, fix the past, get someone back I've lost
Aaron: Everyone that I lost is because of you. You know who murdered my entire family? You!
Enzo: Justifiably
Damon: Either way, I did it. I tore them apart, I liked the sounds they made because I realized they deserved it like you
Aaron: Elena was too good for you
Damon: I used to think that. Yeah. That I had to be better to deserve her love and she had to be worse to accept mine. I'd lie in the middle of the road, looking up at the stars, having conversations with people like you, trying to convince myself that killing them was a bad instinct and that sparing their lives was the right thing to do
Aaron: So what'd you do? Did you kill them?
Damon: It doesn't matter. The point is I was conflicted. Right now in this very, very moment, I am crystal clear. See, Elena thinks I'm a monster. You know what? She's right
(He kills him)
Enzo: Now that's the Damon Salvatore I remember
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