[Traveler’s Camp]
(A woman is kissing Tyler)
Maria: Wake up, babe
(He wakes up)
Maria: I've missed you. Julian? Is that still you?
Tyler: Yeah. Bad dream. What were you saying? Oh. Look. I'm always up for a little bit of kink, but...
Maria: Markos' orders. Put them on you as soon as you fell asleep. You're passengered in a hybrid. We can't risk him popping out. The pecs are a plus. But extra security's a minus
Man: Maria, we're on the move
Maria: Looks like this is gonna have to wait
Tyler: Where are we going?
Maria: To the next camp, which will hopefully be our last camp. Markos is ready to do the spell. He's taking the doppelgangers
Tyler: Today?
Maria: As soon as we're out of here.Soon, we can actually have a home, and I can finally have a closet.. Better yet, two closets, one for clothes and one for shoes. Julian? Julian? Babe, what's wrong? Open your eyes. Oh, my God. You're not... I need help! Somebody!
[Salvatore’s House]
(Luke is here, chanting)
Luke: That's not helping
Damon: Well, you've been failing now for an hour, wonder twin, so at this point, I can't imagine it's hurting
(Stefan enters)
Stefan: Damon, I know you're out of friend, but, uh, I'm not sure this guy's the best replacement
Damon: I don't think this guy's be the best anything if his locator spell skills are any indication. Where's your sister?
Luke: She's tired of being almost murdered. Look. I can find any person anywhere on the planet, ok? There's just something weird with your friend Enzo. I can't get a read
Stefan: Enzo? Didn't he, uh, go to Cape Horn?
Damon: He flipped his humanity switch.There should have been a body count all the way to the airport
Stefan: Well, why are you looking for him?
Damon: Gee. I don't know, Stefan. Vampire with no humanity who wants me dead for killing his girl
Stefan: Well, maybe he hired a witch to block whatever Luke's doing. Is that possible?
Luke: A cloaking spell? I guess
Stefan: That would mean that he doesn't want to be found, so, uh, why don't you just drop it?
(Tyler enters)
Tyler: We have a problem
Tyler: Markos turned Sloan into a vampire, had her drink doppelganger blood, and after some chanting ritual thing, she turned human gain
Damon: He cured her?
Tyler: He cured her to death. The blood took away her vampirismbut left her in the state that she was in just before she turned
Stefan: That state being dead. Got it
Luke: So it kills vampires. What does the spell mean for the witches?
Damon: No one cares. Wait. Keep going
Tyler: The point is they feel if they can get rid of all magic they'll break some lame-ass witch curse
Damon: Markos said they can't settle anywhere without evoking earthquakes or hellfire, but they break that curse and they just move right on into Mystic Falls
Stefan: And come after Elena and me today, as in now
Damon: Oh, well. Markos had a good week or two in the land of the living. Now where is he so I can kill him?
Tyler: No idea. They were moving camp when I got out
Damon: Well, good news. Our friend Luke here is an alleged genius at locator spells
Luke: Travelers are always moving. They're impossible to track. They'll find Stefan and Elena long before we can find them
Damon: Well, what about one of those locator spells blocker deals? Is that simple enough for you?
Luke: If both doppelgangers are in the same place, yeah
Damon: Perfect. You avoid the entire Czech language, figure out how to find Markos
Tyler: How am I supposed to do that?
Damon: Well, you have a traveler inside of you. I mean, I have probably misplaced faith that you'll figure it out. Meanwhile, you and I and our ex-girlfriend are gonna go on a little secret trip
Stefan: Sounds great
[Cabin in the Woods]
(Stefan and Elena are at the car)
Elena: This is a terrible idea
Stefan: Well, what did you want me to say?"No, Damon. It will be awkward to have the 3 of us confined to Caroline's dad's cabin because I killed your best friend and Elena's keeping that secret for me"?
Elena: We should have told him
Stefan: Look. I don't trust that he'd be able to hold it together
Elena: Because Enzo's dead or because you killed him?
Stefan: Either, both. I don't know. Either way...
(Caroline arrives)
Caroline: Good news! So we don't have to be invited in,which is actually supersad if you think about it. Am I interrupting something?
Elena: No, no. We're just, um...
Stefan: Unpacking. We're unpacking. Uh, here you go
Caroline: Ok…
(She leaves)
Elena: So where's Damon now?
Stefan: Helping Luke set up
Elena: Helping Luke or avoiding me?
Stefan: You really don't think he wants to be around you?
Elena: Well, technically, he said, "I don't want to hear your voice, and I don't want to see your face,"because it's too hard for him
Stefan: Who do you think brought you home last night?
Elena: Really?
Stefan: Oh, yeah. Tucked you in safely
Elena: Well, that was an extreme circumstance. Enzo almost killed me
Stefan: Probably read you a nice, little bedtime story
Elena: Stop it. You're the least helpful person I know
Caroline: For a couple of doppeltargets,you two seem to be taking this all in stride
Stefan: Yeah. Well, you know, a tribe of ancient wannabe witches want to drain of us our blood and eliminate supernatural beings? I've had worse
(Caroline enters. Enzo’s there)
Enzo: For some reason, I thought that would feel better
(Elena is unpacking. Damon rejoins her)
Damon: Cozy
Elena: Yeah. Caroline used to invite me here before her parents split. Her dad could tell a pretty good ghost story
Damon: Well, I hope that dickwad's spirit isn't floating around anywhere
Elena: Have a little respect for the dead
Damon: I respect that he's dead. How about that? I'm supposed to be avoiding you
Elena: Is that still what you want?
Damon: Yes .No. I don't know
Elena: Well, Luke did the cloaking spell. Stefan and Caroline are here, so we should be good... But if it's too hard for you to be here, then...
Damon: You kicking me out?
Elena: Yes. No. I don't know
Damon: I'm really sorry Enzo came after you. That was my fault. He was hurt
Elena: It's not a big deal
Damon: It is a big deal.He almost killed you, Elena, so I'm gonna hunt his ass down, I'm gonna whip some sense to him, and I'm gonna make him apologize in person, ok? What?
Elena: Hmm? No. Nothing. I just, uh... I just remembered that Stefan asked me to help him bring some firewood in, so I'll be right back
[Whitmore College]
(Bonnie and Jeremy are kissing)
Bonnie: What?
Jeremy: What are we gonna do about the other side slipping off into oblivion and you with it?
Bonnie: We have the dorm to ourselves for an entire weekend, and you want to talk logistics?
Jeremy: I'm just saying that I would enjoy this weekend a whole lot more if I knew we were gonna be able to keep doing it
Bonnie: I told you Liv is working on a spell to keep me here
(His cell phone rings)
Bonnie: Oh. Another secret bro meeting?
Jeremy: No more secrets, remember? Tyler's back. We should get over there. Let me grab my stuff
(He leaves. Sheila appears)
Sheila: Please tell me more about this special spell that your friend Liv has concocted
Bonnie: I know I shouldn't lie
Sheila: He deserves the truth, Bonnie. It's not getting any better over here. People are getting swept away, and when this place goes, you are going with it
Bonnie: I know I have to tell him. I just need a few more days with him before I... How did you do that? How did you move that? You can't move things from the other side. That doesn't happen
Sheila: That's what I'm trying to tell you. This place is falling apart. Tell him soon. False hope doesn't protect him. It protects you
[A Shed]
(Stefan and Elena go get firewood)
Elena: I lied to his face
Stefan: Yeah, I know, but you know what? Think of all the times he's lied to you and call it a freebie
Enzo: Glad you two find my death so amusing
Stefan: I'm sorry that you have to go through this
Enzo: You're sorry for that? I'm glad we've got our priorities straight
Elena: Look. I know that we're doing this for Damon, but it still just sucks
Stefan: Elena, this is exactly what Enzo wanted. He wanted the blood to be on my hands, and I refuse to give him the satisfaction of feeling guilty about any of it
Elena: And you think Damon is just gonna forget and move on?
Stefan: He's done it before. Come on. Let's get out of here
(They leave)
Enzo: Now there's an interesting development
[Cabin in the Woods]
(Damon and Caroline are in the kitchen)
Damon: Hey, munchie. Those are not for you
Caroline: I'm thinking. Hey!
Damon: "Area 51."
Caroline: Stop!
Damon: "J.F.K. assassination"? What the hell is that?
Caroline: You're ruining the game
Damon: What game?
Caroline: Charades. Our theme is secrets that people think they're getting away with
Damon: Well, Meryl Streep, I'd love to know how we're gonna act out Watergate
Caroline: Well, I'm sure team Stelena will figure it out
Damon: "A," you just implied that I was on your team. Two, you just gave me that judgy little hinty voice. So what am I missing?
Caroline: It's probably nothing
Damon: Speak
Caroline: Well, don't you think that Stefan and Elena have been a little... You know?
Damon: No. Clearly I don't
Caroline: Secretive? I caught them being all hushed and whispery at the car this morning, and now they're getting firewood out of the shed together, which apparently takes 20 minutes
Damon: You know, now that you mention it, Elena got all cagey when I brought up Enzo
Caroline: No, no. I'm not talking about Enzo. I'm talking about Stefan and Elena
Damon: How much have you had to drink?
Caroline: Come on! She's single now, you two are on the outs
(Stefan and Elena enter)
Elena: Cocktails. Good call
Stefan: I'll, uh... I'll make a fire
Elena: I'll help. Ahem
(They leave)
Damon: Let the games begin
[Salvatore’s House]
(Jeremy is in the basement. Bonnie rejoins shim)
Bonnie: When we planned our romantic day together, I wasn't picturing you, me, and two other guys
Jeremy: Trust me, neither was I
(Jeremy and Bonnie rejoin Matt and Tyler)
Jeremy: One part wolfsbane, one part vervain. All together, the dumbest idea that either of you have ever had
Matt: Don't look at me. This is all Ty.
Tyler: These should hold. Let's do this
Bonnie: Not to be the only girl here, but I can't watch this. I'm gonna go upstairs
Matt: Ty, once this guy pops out, we have no idea when you'll come back again
Tyler: Some freak is inside my body.He took over my life.God only knows what he's got planned for me, so unless you've got any better ideas, this is what we're doing
Matt: Ok. Let's do this
Tyler/Julian: Who are you? Where am I?
Matt: Where's Markos?
Tyler/Julian: Go to hell
Matt: To answer your question, my name is Matt, and you, Julian, are inside my best friend, aka your own personal hell
[A Parking Lot]
(The Travelers are moving)
Markos: Maria. Julian's your husband. Why didn't you realize he wasn't in control of the body?
Maria: He'd only been called out for a few hours. I've never seen a host reemerge so quickly
Markos: You've never seen a hybrid before either. Find him!And make him permanent. As for the rest of you, I see a lot of walking when I should be hearing chanting. Find me the doppelgangers
[Cabin in the Woods]
(They are playing charades)
Stefan: Uh, ok. Think. Ponder. Brain. I don't know. Uh, skull!
Elena: Yes!
Stefan: All right! Skull, skull.Ok. Limb. Joint. Bone, bone. Skull and bones. Skull and bones! Got it! 5-0, 5-0. Come on guys, this is it
Damon: Ok. Let's play a game called never have I ever, hmm?
Elena: Oh, I don't think I'm drunk enough
Caroline: Oh, come on! It'll be fun! Come on. It'll be fun. I'll go first.Never have I ever died
Damon: Cheers to that one. Cheers
Stefan: Ooh! Ok. Um, never have I ever been possessed by my evil doppelganger
Elena: Mean. Never have I ever been fooled by evil doppelganger while she was pretending to be me
Caroline: Low blow
Damon: Tough but fair
Elena: Never have I ever kissed a Salvatore brother. Today. So are you gonna drink or...
Elena: Are you implying something?
Stefan: Well, I'm gonna get another round. Does anybody...
Damon: Never have I ever lied about where Enzo is
Caroline: Ok. What is going on?
Stefan: Nothing obviously because nobody's drinking
Damon: I mean, clearly you know the rules of the game, right, brother? If you lied, you drink
Stefan: Oh, no. I understand the rules
Elena: This just got weird. I'm officially buzzed, so I'm gonna go and get ready for bed
Damon: Well, I could certainly use another round
(Elena is in the bathroom. Enzo’s here too)
Enzo: Avoiding, are we?Nothing a hot bath won't fix. Wash the guilt straight down the drain
Elena: Damon!
(Damon enters)
Damon: Elena! Come here. Come on. What happened?
Elena: There was someone in here
Damon: Who?
Elena: I don't know. I didn't... I didn't see anyone, but I could feel someone pushing me under the water
Damon: Ok. I'd blame it on the spirit of Bill Forbes, but I don't think you're his type. Besides, why would a ghost be targeting you? Hey. Elena
Elena: Damon
Damon: What? Hey
[Salvatore’s House]
(Matt and Jeremy are still in the cell)
Matt: There's plenty more where that came from. Where's Markos?
Tyler/Julian: What does it matter to you?
Jeremy: He wants to kill my sister. I want to stop him
Tyler/Julian: You're a fool. Markos destroyed your only weapon against passengers like me, and there's no way in hell you'd ever kill your best friend
Matt: You're right. I don't plan on killing you, but I do plan on getting my answers. Where's Markos?
Tyler/Julian: Stop! I can't tell you where Markos is because I don't know, but I can tell you where my body is
Jeremy: Why do we care?
Tyler/Julian: Because Markos doesn't like problems, and your boy escaping camp means he's Markos' problem
Matt: So?
Tyler/Julian: So knowing Markos,he's gonna want to get rid of Tyler for good by making this my body permanently
[Cabin in the Woods]
(Stefan is on the phone with Bonnie)
Bonnie: Stefan, hey. Remind me why I passed on the cloaking spell party again
Stefan: Well, it's not exactly a relaxing getaway. Listen. Are things getting worse on the other side?
Bonnie: Why?
Stefan: Because something attacked Elena. Is it possible that someone over there could physically affect this plane?
Bonnie: Actually, yeah. My grams knocked a lamp right off my desk today. I doubt it's easy, but if someone were emotional enough...
Stefan: Enzo
Caroline: Enzo's dead?
Stefan: Yeah. I, uh, I killed him
Caroline: So my powers of deduction really suck. Why didn't you say anything?
Stefan: Because it's complicated
Damon: Enter the complication. Enzo's dead. You killed him. Elena told me
Caroline: So you didn't know either?
Damon: Nope
Caroline: And their secret really was about Enzo
Damon: Yep
Stefan: You guys think we could, um, talk about this some other time?
Damon: By all means, brother. At your convenience
Stefan: Listen. The other side is falling apart, and I think it's allowing Enzo to mess with us
Damon: Enzo! You in here?
Enzo: Don't reckon I'd miss this
Damon: Because knock it off!
Caroline: It doesn't make any sense. If Enzo wanted to kill Elena,drowning her wouldn't have worked
Enzo: Smart girl. See why you like her so much
Stefan: Maybe he’s just trying to scare us
Enzo: Warmer. Come on! You've almost got it What is Enzo up to?
Damon: Drowning Elena was just a distraction. He figured out a way to kill us all in one fell swoop
Enzo: Did I mention that I missed you?
(Damon, Caroline and Stefan go outside)
Damon: Crap
Stefan: Where's Luke?
Damon: Who knows? We better find him before the travelers find us
[A Parking Lot]
Markos: Stop! I found them
[The Woods]
(Caroline and Elena are looking for Luke)
Caroline: Luke? Luke? Where are you?
Elena: Maybe Luke… You're upset
Caroline: I'm not upset. Just looking for Luke,you know, Luke, who was here to protect you and Stefan, Luke, who's now missing because you and Stefan lied about where Enzo was, and now the travelers can find you,do their spell, and wipe us all off the face of the earth
Elena: I was worried that if Damon found out...
Caroline: What, he'd flip out and spiral and kill a bunch of innocent people? Yeah, I get that. I, however, am not Damon,so the fact that you lied to me about it makes less sense
Elena: I just didn't want to put you in an awkward position
Caroline: Because it wasn't awkward when I accused you and Stefan of being makeout buddies again?
Elena: Actually, yes, it was. Where did that even come from?
Caroline: I have no idea
Elena: Well, are you over it?
Caroline: Yes
Elena: Good. Now let's go find Luke
(Damon and Stefan are also looking for Luke)
Stefan: You need to know why I lied to you
Damon: Nope, I don't
Stefan: Damon, come on
Damon: Let's just cut to the chase, Stefan, because I'm not in a hash out our differences kind of mood. Yes, I'm pissed that you killed Enzo. I'm even more pissed that you two lied to me about it. You know what, Stefan?If it was me and I was in your shoes, I would have done it, too, except I would have done it months ago. The fact that you took this long...
Stefan: He was your friend
Damon: Yes, Stefan, he was my friend, which is why I, above anyone else, should have known that he was dead. Let's just find the stupid witch
[The Caves]
Bonnie: Of course the creepy travelers are hiding their bodies in creepy caves
Jeremy: Try to think of them as romantic travelers and romantic caves since we're technically still on our date weekend
Bonnie: Right. Oh, my God. These travelers are passengered inside people in Mystic Falls?
Jeremy: I take it back. This is creepy
[The Woods]
Damon: What'd you think I was gonna do?
Stefan: What are you talking about?
Damon: When I found out Enzo was dead? Did you think I was gonna go on a rampage, slaughter a bunch of innocent people, go bowling with human heads? What'd you think I was gonna do?
Stefan: Hate me. I thought you would, uh, hate me
Damon: You hear that?
Stefan: Yeah. Come on
[A Shed]
(They find Luke)
Stefan: He's barely breathing
Damon: Why the hell would Enzo dump him here?
Damon: Smell that? Grab him. Let's go. Dick move, Enzo. If only this wasn't totally avoidable
Stefan: Oh, really? Now you're doing "I told you so"?
Damon: This isn't gonna stop, Stefan. I killed his girl, you killed him. This is not gonna stop
Enzo: He's right. I like poetic justice. Damon Salvatore and his murderous brother die a fiery death
Damon: You listening to me? Is that a yes or a no? Because I can bring you back. Bonnie came back, Markos came back. I'll find a way, but this has to stop. How do you think you're able to do all this stuff, huh? The other side's falling apart, Enzo, so you can either help me, or you can blink out of existence. It's your choice.Go on, Stefan. Get Luke out of here. He's the only one that can hide you and Elena. Go now!
Enzo: Don't let me down again
[The Caves]
Bonnie: You're sure Julian has an eagle tattoo?
Jeremy: That's what he said. I'm pretty sure that's a dove
Bonnie: Or a really cute eagle. Moving on
Jeremy: Look. I'm sorry. This is the worst date ever
Bonnie: We're together in a cave of semiconscious travelers, who want to take over our town, but it could be worse, right?
Maria: Right. It could be
Bonnie: Jeremy?! Jeremy!
Maria: He may be a hunter, but you'd be surprised at how easy it is to restrict a man's airways
Bonnie: Please stop!Stop! Jeremy. Jeremy! Stop!
[Cabin in the Woods]
(Stefan is with Luke)
Stefan: Feeling ok?
Luke: Liv and I should have killed you when we had the chance
Stefan: Yeah. Well, you didn't, and, uh, I don't understand why, but thank you
Luke: Let's just say my family's pretty screwed up, not a whole lot of compassion. You guys are different.You protect each other
Stefan: Well, we still need you to protect us, so why don't you get your stuff and we can get the hell out of here?
Luke: Yeah
(Damon enters)
Stefan: I guess Enzo bought it
Damon: Bought what?
Stefan: Bring him back. I mean, how do you plan on doing that?
Damon: Markos found his way back. It's not impossible unless you want him terrorizing us for the rest of eternity
Stefan: Not particularly. Uh, look. I know that...
Damon: Had to do that for Enzo. That's the last time you'll hear about it from me
Elena: Damon…
[Salvatore’s House]
(Jeremy is back with Matt and Tyler)
Tyler: What do you mean you lost Julian's body?
Bonnie: You/he was right. The travelers wanted it
Jeremy: But we'll find it.We just need to figure out where they went
Tyler: Hold on. What do they need his body for? Guys, talk to me. Why did they take it?
Matt: Ty, what's wrong?
Tyler: I'm seeing things
Jeremy: Tyler, talk to us
Tyler: I don't know what the hell's happening. It's like I'm seeing his life
Bonnie: Oh, my God. They started the spell to make Julian permanent
Tyler: Make it stop. Make it stop!
Jeremy: Tyler…
Tyler/Julian: I take it you didn't find my body
[A Shed]
(Stefan rejoins Caroline)
Stefan: Never have I ever had a ghost try to burn me alive
Caroline: Drink
Stefan: Come on. Car's packed. We got to get out of here
Caroline: We're friends, right? We tell each other things, we trust each other
Stefan: Caroline, it's not because I didn't trust you
Caroline: No. It's just that you trust Elena more, and I get it. Of course you would. Still sucks to be left out of the loop, you know?
Stefan: Well, if it makes you feel any better, there are things that I tell you that I don't tell her
Caroline: Like what?
Stefan: Like you have dirt on your cheek. And look. Maybe I didn't want you to know that I killed Enzo
Caroline: Why?
Stefan: Because I know you, and I know you guys had that weird little chemistry thing going on
Caroline: Oh, please!You're delusional
Stefan: I didn't want you to think any less of me. I'll, uh... I'll meet you over by the car when you're done
[Cabin in the Woods]
(Elena rejoins Damon)
Elena: Hey
Damon: Hey. We're leaving. Pack your stuff
Elena: I will. I just came out to see how you're doing
Damon: I'm in a hurry. You should be, too. The travelers can find us
Elena: So that's it? We're not gonna talk about this?
Damon: What's there to talk about?
Elena: I'm sorry that I lied to you
Damon: I don't care that you lied really
Elena: Ok. I'm confused. Why are you being like this?
Damon: Because you were right, Elena. You wanted to protect me so I wouldn't spiral because if I spiraled then it would prove that we shouldn't be together, but... But I didn't spiral. Despite every nerve in my body wanting to break something or hurt someone or do all the wrong things for all the right reasons, I'm holding it together the best I can for you
Elena: But you're still mad at me?
Damon: Of course I'm still mad at youbecause being around you drives me nuts, and not being around you drives me nuts
Elena: Ok. Now I'm really confused.What was that for?
Damon: Because I've had a really crappy day, and I needed it
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